


Don't Forget to Close Your Eyes

by deathcomestotime



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:13:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4797371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathcomestotime/pseuds/deathcomestotime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alone and terrified, Perry sends one final message. In it she warns the gang of the terrible dangers that await them should whatever's inside her succeed. And the terrible future she's seen in her dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Forget to Close Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to be rendered non-canon by next episode
> 
> Unless Perry isn't in the next episode, in which case I will EAT a BRICK

Click

Hi, LaFontaine? Or anyone. Whoever's there. It's, well, you know who it is. It's Perry. The real Perry, not the other one. Well, also the other one. But not in my mind. If you don't know who the other Perry is- the other Perry, like they're anything like me at all- they're the one who took me here. To… well. I don't know. I've been having some weird things happen to me, and- I needed to tell you about it.

Everyone has secrets. Not the sort of secrets that you tell one or two people. Definitely not the sort that you tell everyone you can while making them all think they're in on something. 

No, the secrets I'm talking about are the sort you don't tell anyone. I don't presume to know why. I've had two of those, and my reasons were very different. The first one I didn't tell anyone because I was nervous of their reactions. The second one… I just couldn't bare to say it. Until now, when it's urgent.

For most of my life, my one major secret was that I'm in love with LaFontaine. I can't even say it now without my voice shaking. I was so scared of how they might react. I just- I didn't want to lose what we had. I finally admitted that when we run away together, hiding from a raging mob in a barn. It was probably one of the most difficult moments of my life. 

Feels so stupid now, that being in love was a problem.

The second secret I've ever had is that- that I've been getting these dreams. It wasn't a big deal at the beginning! I had the first one just before I saw the newspaper kids, so naturally I just assumed it was some sort of shock reaction. Like, a shock reaction before the actual event. After all, that makes sense- right?

I remember that in the dream I felt like I wasn't in control of my body, like I was in my body but I wasn't in control. It was weird, b-because it felt really life-like. I went into the newspaper office and all the kids were there. They were alive, but I knew that they were going to be dead soon. It was just knowing, the way you do in dreams. I was standing in the doorway, watching them, and I felt my mouth changing, like I was a vampire. Like fangs were growing out of me!

So I killed them all. It was me, it was all me. I killed the newspaper kids. They fell like, like bowling pins. I ripped out their throats, and I drank their blood and I was happy. When I stood up I was covered in it- in their blood. I looked up, and Mattie was standing there in the doorway. She looked shocked. I only saw her for a second though, because then I was past her. I don't know how I got past so quickly. I was fast, very fast, faster then her or Carmilla could ever be. I woke up in my bed, free of blood.

That day I found the kids, and my heart stopped.

LaF, I think I killed them. I think it was me. Not, not just in a dream but in real life. What if it was? I didn't mean to! Now I'm- I don't know. I don't know where I am. I'm so sorry, LaF. I know what you would say if you were here- "Stop crying, Perry. Take deep breaths. You've got a story to tell."

How stupid am I? I don't even know if it's LaF listening to this. I'm just- hoping, I guess.

I'll be happy if it's anyone.

The dreams continued for- weeks, really. They happened nearly every night, so every night I would wake up panicking. Thanks goodness LaF sleeps deeply, or else I might have woken them up. That- that wouldn't do. 

Most night the dreams were of what I thought was the future. It seemed like that. Not that it was a future that anyone would want to live in.

I saw us- all of us- fighting a monster. The monster was a writhing cloud that didn't even look remotely like an anglerfish anymore. Someone- someone had tried to kill it. That's one of the things you must not let happen. I'm not allowed to know who tried. I only know it didn't work, and now it was out and had no intention of making any of our deaths fast. It crouched in the middle of the university. Every so often, it would send out minions made of darkness to attack the Silas students. We were all bone tired, as they were nearly impossible to fight, but it was just toying with us.

I wasn't fighting with the rest of you, but standing watching. I think I was laughing, laughing hysterically as you died. I was happy. It wasn't the original plan, but this worked. I liked my new body, and the person inside who’s it was, the real me, was very fun to play with, and I was happy. All I had to do was wait for Lophii to finish toying with his food, and then everything would fall into place. I was going to rule the world. Well, not me. Someone- someone else. I wasn't there. I mean, I was, but as the person. The other person. In the person. And because I was that other person, I couldn't run or help or even move unless they wanted me to.

We were holding out own at the beginning, each of us in different ways. The gangs- you know, Zeta and Summer and Alchemy- were all fighting together. But they couldn't stop fighting each other, and I was happy to help out a bit with driving them apart. Everyone has secrets, and if they- the person, the person inside me- would let me, I could know them all. But I wasn't myself, and I didn't have to know their secrets to tell them.

The Alchemy Club was the first to fall, dying in huge numbers under the Zeta's swords and the Anglerfish's minions. The Summer Society died next. They- they were easy to turn on each other. I killed two of them and framed others. It was a- it was a trick I pulled a couple of times. Each time hating the blood in my mouth, while whoever else is in me loved it.

We were living separately, but still pulling together. As individuals, we fought well. We- uh, you would meet up and discuss tactics every day, so you had a plan. Or sort of a plan.

Kirsh fought with his, his "bros" at the Zetas. He would come to the meeting you held though. He, uh, didn't have a lot to contribute. But he might have been good moral support. I- I wanted to stop the meetings. They were bringing you together, making it last longer. I was impatient. So I did, walking straight into the middle of one with my mouth d-dripping with blood. His blood. Kirsh's. I'd murdered him on the way to the meeting, because he attacked me. He must have known who I am, who's inside me. I fought back. I'd love to say I didn't mean to kill him, but- that would be lying.

LaF and JP had built this weird machine that sort of sucked in the monsters. It killed them stone dead, because they were only shadow and smoke. In one dream, they were doing too well. I was scared that they were going to win, so I went to deal with them myself. I probably didn't have to, but I thought it would be fun. Also, I knew how much it would hurt the person inside of me- I mean! I mean, they knew how much it would hurt me. I'm, I'm not trapped. Not right now.

They- you- died easily. I tried not to kill LaF, and I was screaming the whole time I did it. Well not with my mouth, I was killing with that, but- but you know what I mean. They died anyway. At least it was fast. I-I think I overpowered them a but on that one. If it was up to them it would have been much, much worse. At least I did that much. 

Afterwards, I didn't even wake up straight away. I had to stay and cry among the blood and bones of the only person I've ever really loved. When I woke up that time, I hugged LaF so tightly they woke up, so I tried to pretend nothing was wrong. That one must have just been a normal dream though- right? A normal nightmare. Not the future, if all this even is the future. I'd never kill LaF. Never, ever, ever.

Then there was Danny- Do you know, LaF, I think she's a werewolf? At least she was in my dreams. When you were in danger, she'd morph. It was painful for her, and hideous to look at. She would- god, she would sort of elongate. She'd scream, if she could, and her back would crack, crack painfully as it bent itself into wolf shape. Her wolf form was ruthless, and destroyed anyone who got in its way. Laura couldn't even look her in the eye after the first rampage. So Danny tried to stay human as much as possible.

When it was necessary, though, she did change. She'd point herself at the enemy army before she did, so that hopefully she'd attack them when she changed. When it worked, she was very powerful. However, this power separated her from the others. They couldn't really trust her anymore. She'd barely managed not to kill them too many times.

I remember the night I decided the situation had to change. I became myself again, Perry, the real Perry, like I am now, I am, and regained partial control over my own body. I still recall with awful clarity trying not to go to Danny, because I knew what was going to happen. I tried to warn her, LaF, I really did. I tried to tell her I was going to kill her.

Now I'm crying again. I know, I'm being silly. None of this has actually happened yet. And it might not, but you have to do the right thing. That night- it was the worst of my life. 

I didn't kill Danny. Not personally, like I killed you and JP, anyway. She was alone, camping out in the old Summer Society meeting house, and when she saw me she came running out. I must have looked terrible. I was crying, trying to back away while my feet kept dragging me forward. Whoever's possessing me doesn't really care about this body, since it's only their temporary home. So they'd only been feeding me just enough to survive. The past few days they'd forgotten, or wanted me to look worse, for Danny, you know, so I was starving. 

Danny came running out, tried to help me. She must have known it was me and thought I was fighting back. Yes. That must be it. I ate what she gave me, but I was crying the whole time. Why couldn't she see something bad was going to happen? I think now that it's maybe because she wanted to die. Or, or not. I hope not. But I knew she wasn't going to go quietly, the way she wanted.

The other person didn't want me to say anything, so I couldn't talk. I was in total panic mode, the way I get. Anxiety. It was awful.

Well, I mean, I don't really want to talk about it. It's easier to say when you're not actually here in the flesh, but still not easy. Suffice to say that I turned Danny into a werewolf and pointed her straight at Laura.

I have never seen such- such destruction. I followed her, but I only got there in time to see the walls painted red with Laura's blood. It- it was horrible! But whatever's inside me seems to delight in watching their plans unfold, so I was there the whole time. 

Danny turned back before anyone found her. She found herself kneeling over Laura's mutilated body. She was crying so hard she couldn't even move. She actually fell to the floor, looking as dead as Laura herself. Finally, she let all her anger out in this one massive howl. It was agony and anger and self-loathing and grief, all wrapped up into one.

It summoned Carmilla.

I think, with, you know, her supersonic vampire hearing, she heard that the howl was coming from Laura's dorm room and wanted to see what it was. Her vampire abilities had been keeping her alive since the anglerfish escaped, but she'd been distancing herself from the other students. I don't know why. I only know what the person possessing me wants to know. That's, I guess, why I don't know who they are.

Anyway, Carmilla came. She's always scared me a bit, as you know. But never more after this dream. Danny was changing even as she turned, b-but she didn't stand a chance.

After she was done, Carmilla was covered with blood, a mix of Laura and Danny's. She grabbed this- I don't know if you know it- this yellow pillow. Then she super-speeded it out of there. On the way out, I think she saw me. But she must have known who I am, even if I don't, because she looked almost afraid of me. Afraid and angry.

So, that's mostly what I see in my dreams. This horrible, twisted, messed-up future. It's all overlaid with this awful prophecy-like stuff. The first gate wants the rook. That's what it is, a lot. I don't know what it means! It scares me, if I'm being honest. It terrifies me. But that's how I know a bit about how this future is going to happen. And a bit about what you can do to stop it.

Of course, those weren't the only dreams I had. That day where I got cut up I dreamed I got out of bed. I had a phrase, a Latin phrase, going around and around in my head. I went outside, into the trees, with a knife. I-I cut myself up. I did it to myself. Oh god, LaF, I think I did everything. I-I attacked myself with crows. I'd been being disobedient lately, trying to fight when they wanted to do something, and we all know what happens to disobedient people.

But mostly it's the prophecy dreams.

I know what you'd be saying now- that I should get on with it. Tell you how to stop myself from killing you and all that. Well. Okay. Back to business. Pull yourself together, Perry.

On the night I disappeared- from my own life as well as yours- I saw Mattie. I don't know how, but she knew about my dreams. She asked me about them, and I don't remember anything after that. Whatever's possessing me knew- they knew about her.

Mattie's the key.

She's still alive, I'm hoping. I know at least I didn't kill her. So this is your task, LaFontaine. Keep her that way. The second Mattie dies we are one step closer to the future I saw. And there are very few steps. So Mattie must stay alive at all costs.

Another thing. Me. I know that when we're in the dark place of my dreams, I will be manipulating a lot of it. I'm already manipulating a lot of it. For example, I- well, I set Danny up against Mattie and Carmilla. So you've got to be careful with her.

Look for me, but don't expect to find me as I am. If you find me- and there's no guarantees, I'm clever- then you must observe my behaviour. If I'm not ready with a very good reason as to how I'm not possessed, then- then- kill me. It might kill the thing inside me. It's our only hope.

I don't remember anything beyond meeting Mattie that night. I'm not permitted to. Right now I'm only myself because- I'm happy. They're happy. They're laughing. I don't know why. Please god tell me it's not because Mattie is dead. Please god don't let me die.

I'm just so scared, LaF! I'm going to be her in a minute, I can feel it. Her? Oh- wait. Oh my god.

I know who it is. Oh my god, we are in so much more trouble then I thought. You have to kill me! LaF, you have to! She'll never let me go if you get this! Please, LaF, I love you. I'm begging you to safe yourself. I take back my earlier message. No matter what I say or do, you must kill me as soon as possible. You have to! 

Please-

LaF…

LaF this, LaF that, LaF the other. God, she really is obsessed, isn't she? You're filling her mind. That and fear, of course, but that's only to be expected.

What is this rubbish? Ha! She wants you to kill us? Good luck with that one. I'd like to see you try. We all know that if you kill this body Perry is gone forever, but you don't know if that would even slow me down. You'll never do it. No one could kill the person they love.

The rest of it… is useless. At least it tells you exactly what you've done by killing Mattie. You've doomed yourself, werewolf. Did you know how many people you would kill when you crushed that locket? Laura's life is bound up in that locket just as much as Mattie's. No, of course you didn't know. I wish I could see the look on your face.

Ha, and there's the werewolf thing. Laura, dearest, your life is starting to look more and more like twilight every day. Doesn't it just make you mad to know that Danny's been keeping secrets even from you? And all of her Summer Society sisters knew about it, too. She's too stupid to even use her powers to her advantage, for fear that you would see her differently. Though you should be quite used to supernatural beings in love with you by now.

And then there's LaFontaine. Perry just adores you! You should see her little brain, filled to the brim with love. It's sickening. Fortunately you will never be together again. That's tearing her apart, which is so funny to feel. The best thing about love is how easily it can be used against her. Daydreaming about you is my new favourite pastime. Every time I make something bad happen to you I can feel it destroy her.  
So, what will I do with this video? Perry was going to post it online for wider viewership, but I think I'll send it directly to LaFontaine's email. That'll make sure all of you see it.

I can't wait to see my plan unfold. It's already going flawlessly, and there's nothing you can do. Good luck stopping me. I have the perfect leverage- a hostage you can't free. Perry is staying with me until you all are dead. Maybe then I'll let her go. It might be fun to see the tortured look on her face as she sees all the destruction we've caused.

Though even if you get her back, she'll never be the same. I turned her long ago, and Perry's heart no longer beats for anyone. 

Well, goodbye for now. Oh, and if dearest Carmilla is watching, don't think you've got out of this. You're going to be punished. I just haven't decided how yet.

Sending in three… two… one. 

Click


End file.
